I’m not ready to propose yet

Dear Bunmi,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for close to four
years and I’m sure I want to spend the rest of
my life with her, only I’m not sure if I’m ready
to get married yet. Her family is not making
things easy for me. Every time I talk to them,
they ask me when I’m going to propose. I’m
worried that if I do it now, my girlfriend will
think her family pressurised me into it, and that
it didn’t come from me. Do you think I should
just cave in and get married to keep everyone
else happy?
Dave,
by e-mail.
Dear Dave,
After four years of being with this woman, I
don’t really get the reason you’re still dragging
your feet. Is it for financial reason? You said you
would want to spend the rest of your life with
her, but you are not ready for marriage yet? I
think you should be flattered that your
girlfriend’s family is eager to welcome you into
their fold! If you don’t get a move on, your
girlfriend might mistake your indecision for
reluctance. She might think you don’t want to
get married and could meet someone while
you’re still dithering. This could put a spanner
in your works.
On the other hand, if you really are not sure
about marriage, don’t rush into it, whatever the
pressure. Asking someone to share their life
with you isn’t like asking them on a date.
There’s no going back without someone getting
hurt. Only, you have to be fair and let your
girlfriend know of your fears. If after four years
she’s still willing to hang around for you to
make up your mind, that would be entirely up to
her. If, however, she’s impatient to get married,
then you must be prepared to let her go.